Victims Of Love
by RoseRosa
Summary: Love and lust are uncontrollable emotions that can stand the test of time but when memories are lost changes happen. Arthur and Gwen our dating when Merlin meets him but that doesn't stop them from falling down an unstoppable spiral of self destruction.


**Title:** Victims Of Love**  
Rating:** M**  
Warnings/Spoilers:** None.**  
Summary:** Love and lust are uncontrollable emotions that can stand the test of time. The only problem is that Merlin and Arthur don't remember each other. Arthur and Gwen are dating but when things happen that cause Arthur and Merlin to be drawn together things start to crumble and Merlin starts to break.

Driving down a road to self destruction they have to try and make things work out, even if it is a secret.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin or any of the song lyrics used.

**Author's Notes:** Ummm I just felt like writing and started writing this reincarnation fic. Ummm I don't own the lyrics used or the characters sadly. This is quite different to anything else I've wrote in this fandom so yeah. Enjoy!

* * *

"_A withered past and a blurry future,  
My heart's on an auction,  
It goes out to the highest bid_."

Reverse This Curse

Escape The Fate

Sometimes the most memorable situations can be the ones you didn't want to happen.

Sometimes the worst situations can turn out to be some of the best times of your life.

Merlin hadn't wanted to fall in love with Arthur, he hadn't even meant to but some things were just out of his control even with his powers.

Yes, powers. You heard right, you see Merlin Emrys is a warlock. Not many people are aware of that fact of course, in fact if you asked him he would just laugh and ask you if you'd been reading too much Harry Potter. His magic was the only secret he'd managed to keep so far. It was so secret in fact that even his best friend Gwen was unaware of it.

Gwen, his beautiful, dark skinned best friend who he had accidentally thrown his juice over on the first day of school, the girl who had been his first kiss and the first person he'd came out to when he'd discovered he was gay. He'd always kept his magic a secret from her though, not because he couldn't trust her or that he believed that she wouldn't be accepting but because it was his little secret, y'know? Something that only he knew about, that he could always rely upon and he could use it without worrying about Gwen being disappointed in him for using it for doing something like housework and okay, maybe he was a little scared of losing her as a friend.

He was sort of wishing he had told her now though, it certainly would have been easier to lose her as a friend then to have to deal with the consequences of being around Gwen's boyfriend of the time.

One Arthur Pendragon.

Life certainly would have been a lot easier for Merlin if he'd never met the gorgeous blond prat but he couldn't turn back time.

He'd already tried.

"_In the beginning, _

_I tried to warn you._

_You play with fire,_

_It's gonna burn you."_

Victims of Love

Good Charlotte

It had all started one snowy February evening, Merlin had been walking back home from work when he'd heard someone call him from the other side of the road. He had turned to see who it was but the snow had blinded him momentarily and he had slipped on a slushy patch, catapulting him forward into a pair of unfamiliar arms.

"Your friend's a bit of a klutz isn't he?" An amused voice had asked as Merlin had looked up to see a handsome blond smirking at someone a lot more familiar.

"Are you alright?" Gwen had asked Merlin as he righted himself. The dark haired boy had of course just nodded in response, it wasn't as if slipping was an unusual occurrence for him. He'd lost count of the amount of times he'd slipped already that evening but it was true that no one had needed to catch him any of those times before.

Gwen had looked pleased that he was okay though as she had grabbed his arm and had linked it with hers.

"Oh good. I was glad I spotted you Merlin, I wanted to introduce Arthur to you first," she had commented after that and Merlin had just smiled and nodded at her before he had held his free hand out to the blond in front of him.

"Hey. I'm Merlin but I guess you already know that."

The other man had taken his hand in a tight leather glove clad grasp, smiling and revealing a set of crooked white teeth. The one flaw on a face that otherwise looked like it had been carved by one of the masters. Sapphire eyes studied him hard, the cool gaze looking him up and down as if appraising his body. Merlin had to fight back a shiver.

At the time Merlin hadn't known that their relationship would stay on those fragile tracks, racing along them without any breaks. He wouldn't have given Gwen his blessing otherwise. He wasn't a masochist after all, well not much of one anyway. It was just the only way he could describe himself after he so willingly gave into the other male so many times. He'd been paving the path to his own self destruction and the worse thing was that he'd realised it.

Back when they'd first met Arthur had smiled at him and introduced himself, it turned out that he was Gwen's friend Morgana's step brother. Merlin had always wondered what the 'arrogant man-whore' of a brother Morgana was stuck with looked like and so had Gwen obviously. They'd met when the two women had been out Christmas shopping and they'd bumped into the blond. Apparently they'd ignored each other at first and gradually they'd both begun to notice the other and well, the rest is history. All that mattered was that Gwen had eventually discovered how _wonderful_ Arthur was and they had started dating. Once the dark skinned woman had finished telling her story all Merlin could do was sigh and give his best girl friend a hug. What else could he have done? He was happy she'd found a seemingly nice guy again and back then he'd had no clue about what would happen between them.

It wasn't until later that evening that the ball would start rolling and Merlin would discover another side to Arthur.

"_You're something beautiful,_

_A contradiction,_

_I wanna play the game,_

_I want the friction."_

Time Is Running Out

Muse

The couple had been going out for a drink when Gwen had spotted him, so she invited him to come along, said it would be fun. If Merlin hadn't wanted to upset her he would have honestly told her that no, he didn't want to go for a drink with her and her new boyfriend. That being a third wheel didn't sound like fun to him. But Merlin did what any good friend would and agreed.

Oh, how he wished he'd been able to say no now, things would have been so much easier for him.

Merlin had noticed that Arthur was gorgeous the second he had laid eyes on him, he just hadn't realised that blond knew it too. He was dressed to impress and the eyes of many women flitted to him as he pulled his coat off inside. The form fitting t-shirt stretched across his broad chest leaving his muscled arms bare, the jeans he wore were the perfect fit and were faded in all the right places. God, he truly was an Adonis. It was so unfair that Gwen was dating someone criminally handsome when he had no one. Still he'd been able to watch Arthur a little bit, until the blond had caught him looking at least. As their eyes met something triggered in Merlin's mind but he'd had no idea what it could be at the time. He watched as Arthur begun to smirk at him but the other man didn't bother speaking until Gwen had left to go get them the drinks,

"So do you usually eye up Gwen's boyfriends or am I an exception?" Arthur had asked slightly mockingly. Cheeks flushed red as the dark haired boy avoided meeting the blond's eyes again,

"Are you usually such a prat or am I an exception?" Merlin had retorted. The snippy banter felt familiar and forthcoming on his tongue so he chanced a look back up to see Arthur looking at him again, confusion etched on his face.

"You can't talk to me like that," he replied incredulously but when all Merlin did was raise an eyebrow in a way that said 'and why not?' Arthur's face softened slightly as he reached forward to pat Merlin on the shoulder.

Sparks had surged throughout Merlin's body at the touch and he caught a glimpse of something almost familiar in his mind but it was gone as soon as Arthur had dropped his hand. Arthur had probably felt it to, it would explain the stunned expression on his face as he moved away from Merlin again.

"There's something about you Merlin."

Gwen had returned with the drinks after that and Merlin had tried to put up with her and Arthur's flirting, along with the other male's snide remarks. Every word was like a knife in his back, he could feel himself getting angrier and angrier as Arthur's insults got sharper and sharper. Eventually he'd had enough and Merlin did something the he later regretted.

He tried to hit Arthur.

Now Arthur was a lot better fighter then Merlin could ever hope to be and was a lot quicker to boot. He managed to grab hold of Merlin's fist as he leapt to his feet and whirled the boy around so his back was being pressed into the table, Arthur holding his wrists behind his back as he pressed him into the hard wood. Their bodies pressed closed together as Arthur leaned forward, a dark look in his eyes, the noise from the room seemingly muted and all the people surrounding them forgotten about. Merlin could feel the heat of the other's body seeping through their clothes as images rushed through his mind as Arthur froze.

Playful touches, gentle kisses, hard thrusts and guttural moans.

Two bodies writhing together in silken sheets, long pale fingers curled and tugging at blond locks as the broader male's mouth descended down on the other's shaft. Tongue stroking and teasing heavy groans out of his lover.

Merlin had to bite back a moan himself as the image faded away and Arthur shifted against him, brushing against his half-hard cock, the noise fading back in the room around them as Arthur suddenly leapt away, his eyes wide and Merlin felt himself flush red again,

"I...I've got to go! See you later Gwen," he had informed his friend before he'd grabbed his stuff and ran.

What had all that been about?!

"_Something's getting in the way,_

_Something's just about to break,_

_I will try to find my place,_

_In the diary of Jane."_

Diary of Jane

Breaking Benjamin

If you're going to suddenly, randomly and for no apparent reason, other then the fact you've been having strange visions, going to start lusting after your best friend's boyfriend it's probably best to avoid him and not to mention your best friend. The problem was that Merlin didn't have that many friends and Gwen was very difficult to avoid when she wanted to see you. Plus Merlin didn't know what to say her when she started going on about how perfect Arthur was and how he should find a guy like him.

Merlin had nearly choked on his tea when she had said that to him one evening..

She wouldn't be saying that if she knew about the dreams he'd been having every night about her boyfriend, or the inescapable visions that occurred every time they touched.

He wished he could avoid Arthur but if Gwen wasn't bringing him to visit they were meeting in coffee shops, or at the pub and then as soon as Merlin went to sleep he was in his dreams. It was making him miserable.

After Arthur took Gwen away on a dream Valentines trip to Paris, Merlin gave up on keeping himself away from Arthur. What would have been the point he thought, it wasn't as if anything was going to happen between them anyway and the dreams were just dreams. Or so he just assumed, if he'd have known what they really were in the beginning he'd probably would have freaked. It's not every day you find out you're the reincarnation of the greatest warlock in history and that you're in lust with the reincarnation of the great King Arthur and that you were lovers in a former life. He had enough difficulty coming to terms with it when the 'Dragon' told him months later. So Merlin decided to take the initiative and attempted to become friends with Arthur.

It was actually surprisingly easy, the blond was quite a nice guy when you tried to get to know him and though he could be a bit of a prat he was usually quite friendly.

Well certainly friendly enough to go out for drinks with but that turned out to be his second mistake.

"_Desperate desires and unadmirable plans,_

_My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent."_

Me Vs. Maradona Vs. Elvis

Brand New

The second time they'd gone to the pub together it had been busy and both men were trying to drink away their problems. Arthur had gotten in a huge argument with his father and Merlin had been fired, they'd both had a terrible day and the first person they'd both thought of to try and cheer themselves up had been one another. Really that should have told them something but they'd both assumed it was because of their newly growing friendship.

Thinking back on that night Merlin realised he should have known better then to go out drinking the man who'd been the star of every single one of his dreams, both wet and normal ones. He was a lightweight when it came to alcohol and a bit of a blabbermouth when pissed. He couldn't really remember much after he'd finished his third beer. He knew they'd gone back to Arthur's and had started on a bottle of cheap gin they brought on their way back there. He could remember loose tongues and angry words, he could remember dark eyes and flashes of power, he could remember messy kisses and eager touches, the way that Arthur had pounded into him and the delicious noises that escaped the blond above him.

He also remembered that it was the first night in a long time that he didn't dream and the fact that when he woke up out of place and confused that morning he'd felt warm and complete for the first time ever.

It was like everything had fallen into place but that had only been the beginning of the train wreck that was Arthur and his relationship.

"_This time I gotta live without you,_

_That's just the way it's gotta be."_

Onto The Next One

Escape The Fate

Arthur had been angry when he'd woken up, he'd sworn and had accused Merlin of getting him drunk on purpose. Merlin had just shouted back that he'd made the first move and anyway being drunk doesn't make you do things you don't already want to do. They'd fallen silent after that and Merlin had left.

He and Arthur didn't speak to each other for weeks, if one of them was with Gwen when the other arrived they'd just leave without a word and they went out of their way to avoid each other. Their behaviour had Gwen worried. She tried to get the reason why they were fighting out of their pair of them but she failed.

After a while though the pair finally calmed down and were able to be civil to each other but things were still awkward, it was clear they'd never truly be able to be friends and they both knew that but there was something between them they drew them to each other. They wanted, no _needed_ each other to complete who they truly were. They were two sides of the same coin and they were worthless separate.

In the end they just gave up fighting the lure, after every single argument they ended up in bed together again and again. They craved each other, wanted the other's body and what they could give them. It was a surprise that no one knew what was going on after Arthur managed to get Merlin a job at his Father's company and he just happened to feel like wearing his neckerchief's a lot more often. You'd think with the relationship Merlin and Arthur had together he'd be happy but he wasn't, far from it. The more time together they spent the more they realised they were falling in love but Arthur wouldn't leave Gwen and Merlin didn't want him too. Neither of them wanted to hurt the sweet woman but every time Merlin saw Arthur with Gwen he felt a surge of jealousy and guilt encapsulate him. The amount of times he'd had to make excuses just to get away from the pain and the guilt when with them just kept rising. When he wasn't with Arthur he regretted their time together and though his dreams seemed to be telling him they were destined to be together he kept feeling that he was just damning himself.

Arthur was destroying him but he just didn't want things to end.

"_Well, then think of what you did,  
And how I hope to God he was worth it,  
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin."_

Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Panic At The Disco

Their secret relationship lasted for several months until Gwen found out about it. Arthur had given her a key only the month before and she'd decided to come over to his flat to wait for him to 'finish at work' before they went out that evening. Only she had entered the flat to hear them going at it. She hadn't just turned around and left them then though, she decided to see what was going on just in case she was making something out of nothing. Gwen had just entered the room and had stood there silently for a few moments until the pair had realised they had an audience and promptly separated. When they saw it was Gwen, Arthur started to curse and apologise and Merlin just attempted to cover them both up, avoiding Gwen's eyes as he also apologised profusely.

Not that long later the men sat dressed again on the sofa as Gwen sat quietly across from them,

"So how long has this been going on?" she asked. It was a fair enough question and she deserved to know the truth, Merlin opened his mouth to speak, looking completely defeated and anguished as he slumped back into the sofa, finally meeting the brown eyes of his best friend. He felt Arthur grab his hand and squeeze gently as he answered,

"A few months. We're so sorry Gwen, we didn't mean for this to happen...we didn't want to hurt you." Gwen just shook her head and smiled at him,

"I know you didn't Merlin but I had my suspicions anyway. You two just seemed so close and you're not even friends," she replied with a slightly bitter laugh and a shake of her head. She was hurt of course, she'd just caught her boyfriend in bed with her best friend for gods sake but she couldn't hate either of them. She couldn't even bring herself to scream at them, for some reason she just felt like they were the one's destined to be together. She'd find her man one day, she knew it. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before she put on a soft smile,

"Don't worry you two, I'll be fine. Just...be happy together okay?"

They said if you truly loved someone you'd let them go after all.

_~~A Happy Ending?~~ _

After that Arthur and Merlin's relationship finally came out into the open, a few months later they found out the truth about their dreams and about their past together. It certainly explained why they'd been so drawn to each other so early on.

I couldn't say what happened to them next as their still living out their life, so the only way I can end this is to wish them luck with their lives.

Let's hope they have their happy ending after all.

__________

**I hope you enjoyed and please comment. Thanks for reading.**


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